#comedy

Once upon a time, a Husband and Wife agreed that whenever they want to have SEX, they will call it 'PHONE CALL' so that their little children won't understand.
One day, Dad sends Son to tell Mum that he wants to make a 'PHONE CALL'. Mum replies: tell your Dad that the Network is busy today. Dad replies: tell your Mum that the call is very urgent, if Network is busy, then he will be going to a PUBLIC PHONE BOOTH TO MAKE THE CALL. Mum replies: tell him that if he dare go to a Public Phone Booth, I will OPEN a Business Center and all 'PHONE CALLS' will be FREE. . . . Hahahahaha!!!

comedy of the day "Akpos"

Before
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Now
🏃🏻              🐀
AKPOS THE BUS DRIVER
.
Akpos, a driver who survived in a tragic accident which rendered 50 people dead at Lagos-Ibadan Express Way was remanded in police custody to assist in police investigation.
Here is the Interrogation:
POLICE: Mr Akpos, how did you end up killing 50 people?
AKPOS: I was driving at 150km/hr when I saw two men crossing the road. On the other side, a wedding was taking place. I hit the brake but it failed, so I had to make a choice; either hit the two men or run into the wedding party.
POLICE: Hit the two men of course to reduce Casualties!
AKPOS: Exactly, we think alike oooh! But after hitting one, the other man escaped into the wedding party.
POLICE: So, what did you do?
AKPOS: I went after him to balance the equation...But unfortunately, people lost their lives in the process.

facebook

16 million Nigerians visit Facebook every month
− Facebook
Facebook has announced that 16 million people
in Nigeria visit its website every month with 100
percent of the visits coming on mobile.
Facebook also said that 7.2 million people visit
Facebook daily, with 7 million of them on mobile.
Facebook shared the insights about Nigerians’
activity on the social networking website on
Thursday, to coincide with the Friends Day and
the site’s 12th anniversary on February 4.
Vice President, EMEA, at Facebook, Nicola
Mendelsohn revealed that during the past five
years, the global Facebook community has more
than doubled in size, and its community in
Nigeria continues to grow.
“For us, Friends Day in Nigeria was about hearing
the stories of our community using Facebook our
platform to grow and connect with others,” the
vice president said in a press release.
“We have made amazing progress over the past
year. We’re only 1 percent done in Nigeria and
inspired to do even more in this fast-moving,
mobile first country.”
Head of Africa for Facebook, Nunu Ntshingila
added that this is the year Facebook would be
deepen its partnerships with Nigerian businesses.
“We’re committed to Nigeria, and during this visit
we shared insights with our business and agency
partners on how to deliver personalised
marketing, at scale, where people are – on their
mobile phone. We want to make sure Nigeria –
its people, its agencies and its businesses –
realise the opportunity that technology and
mobile bring,” Ntshingila said.
“We know the mobile platform people use the
most in Nigeria is Facebook and up to 77 percent
of Nigerians on Facebook use their mobile device
to discover new products and services. Nigerians
are sophisticated mobile users and this
sophistication is increasing fast – people are
ahead of businesses, and we’re here to help
businesses create mobile-first solutions to grow
their business.”
Facebook also hosted a dinner for women
leaders in Nigeria where Mendelsohn and
Ntshingila spoke about entrepreneurship and the
role of technology in driving economies and
creating jobs.